Graduated, and a touch neurotic

Sorry it’s been so long. Once again I want to reassure you all that I have been reading your blogs…on my iPhone (which is my lame excuse for not commenting). I’ve also been keeping you all in my thoughts and nightly prayers. On nights when I’m totally exhausted, the prayer goes something like “God bless all my infertile bloggy friends and local Resolve group members”. When I’m a little less sleepy, I try to mention you each by screen name and by situation – stims/egg retrieval/transfer/TWW, etc. I know many of you aren’t religious, but given the lengths we all go to, I figure it can’t hurt!

So, two weeks ago, we had our third and final ultrasound with Dr. Y. The ultrasound looked great. Although we were at 7w5d by my count, baby measured 8w0d and we could see a nice big noggin, along with spinal cord, booty, and a limb (not sure if it was an arm or a leg at that point). I’d share the video, but C’s iPhone video technique has improved significantly, and in the later videos my full name and clinic location are crystal clear on the screen. (I’m not quite ready to dispense with the last semblance of anonymity here…)

After the ultrasound, Dr. Y gave me some instructions regarding the baby aspirin and progesterone suppositories (Yee haw! No more suspicious bruises or greasy cooch!)

Then Dr. Y put his arms out to the side…

In retrospect, I think it was a gesture of “well, I guess that’s it!”, but at the time, I was convinced he was reaching out for a bear hug, and – without thinking – I went for it.

Which was weird, given that my lady bits were covered by a thin paper sheet, which kind of raised up during the hug…

 Like Lentil, we brought cookies to say Thank You to Dr. Y and his staff (but waited to give them to him until after the ultrasound and awkward hug). And with that, we graduated from the RE’s office.

I kind of wish he had kept us for another week. Our first prenatal appointment was originally scheduled for October 22nd (hence the timing of our RE graduation). But during that last appointment, Dr. Y asked us which OB we had chosen, and when I told him that we had an appointment with one of the Kaiser nurse midwives, he hemmed and hawed and said “Well, that should be fine. Technically, you’re not high risk, so you don’t need to see an obstetrician…” Which of course led C to insist that we cancel our appointment with the midwife and make one with an OB. And that’s how our first appointment ended up scheduled for a week later, on October 29 (this coming Tuesday).

 So we haven’t seen our little prune in two weeks. I actually was fine with it, until my acupuncture appointment yesterday. My acupuncturist said my pulse was “fine” when I asked her, but then when I was leaving, she said, “Fingers crossed for your ultrasound!” And her assistant asked if I wanted to schedule my next acupuncture appointment then, or wait for the results of my ultrasound.

 Um. What does that mean?!

 So, naturally, I’ve been running through the list of pregnancy symptoms.

 Still here:

  • Unsettled tummy in the morning, and inability to eat a large meal in one sitting
  • Sore boobs
  • Tummy pooch
  • Constipation

Absent the last few days:

  • Exhaustion
  • Crazy acne
  • Waking up starving in the middle of the night to eat my night peanuts


Needless to say, the next four days can’t go fast enough.

Fortunately, I have a ridiculous pile of grading and course prep to keep me busy…

which I should probably get back to now…


Thank you all so much for your kind response to my news. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to provide an update. Lest you think ‘No news is bad news’, I’ll spoil the punchline by telling you that all is well (as far as we know).

I hate to use a lame pregnancy excuse, but I am so tired that I can barely keep up with my work responsibilities, which is why working on a blog post has been out-of-the-question…

Suffice it to say that I am having some pregnancy symptoms:

  • Extreme exhaustion (coupled with difficulty sleeping…awesome!)
  • Moodiness (poor C has been dealing with some serious crankiness, punctuated by tearing up every morning during some story on the Today show…)
  • Acne (enormous, sore, pressurized zits…possibly worse than when I was a teenager)
  • Constipation (‘nuff said)
  • Unsettled stomach (I wouldn’t call it nausea per se, but more an uncomfortable feeling and general lack of enthusiasm for food)

As those of you who have miscarried can appreciate, I’m actually grateful for every symptom. (I had very few and very mild symptoms last time…) But nonetheless, it feels like all I do is work, sleep, and go to appointments (acupuncture or RE’s office)…

Here are some pictures to fill out this post:

ImagePhoto from the black-tie wedding in Chicago where we made a baby! (Well, an embryo anyway. Doesn’t C look handsome in a tux?)

ImageEating a Chicago Dog at Wrigley Field with my buddy R. (Meanwhile, my little embryo was on its way to becoming a blastocyst…)

Image“Umm. Wake up, C! Wanna hear something weird?!…”

ImageWhen my temperature didn’t drop by 10,11,12 dpo, I thought something was up. Then when it did drop at 15 dpo, I. FREAKED. OUT!

ImageBut I kept going in for blood tests, and my betas looked good…

ImageWhen I got to work the day of the ultrasound, I found these from my thoughtful colleague K! Notice the graduated cylinder ‘vase’.

ImagePrayed a lot to St. Gerard, and wore my lucky socks to the first ultrasound appointment. By my estimate, baby should be ~ 5 weeks 5 days old…

C and I were blown away to see this. “Baby Lou” (as my mom has taken to calling it in her nightly prayers) measured 5 weeks 6 days, with a steady heartbeat! (You can see the yolk sac ~6 seconds.)

This was HUGE news for us. Last time, we learned at our 8 week ultrasound that the baby was only measuring 5 weeks 5 days (no heartbeat). I miscarried naturally about a week later. That one extra day means that we’ve at least made it farther than last time.

And we’ve got a heartbeat.

We know that we are still so far from out of the woods, but we’ve decided to be hopeful. I even went out and bought another copy of The Belly Book to stick our ultrasound pics in.

And now, we wait.

Fortunately, a ‘perk’ of being an IF patient with Kaiser is that I get weekly ultrasounds until I ‘graduate’ to the OB (~9 weeks). So we’ll do it again on Friday (6w6d)…